Edinburgh Fringe best joke announced
Tim Vine has one the award for the funniest joke at Edinburgh’s Festival Fringe.
His one liner, “I’ve just been on a once-in-a-lifetime holiday. I’ll tell you what, never again.” was deemed the best joke this year by the public after a shortlist of 24 jokes were selected by a panel of eight comedy judges.
Here are what were considered this years best gags:
1) “I’ve just been on a once-in-a-lifetime holiday. I’ll tell you what, never again.” – Tim Vine
2) “I’m currently dating a couple of anorexics. Two birds, one stone.” – David Gibson
3) “I picked up a hitch hiker. You’ve got to when you hit them.” – Emo Philips
4) “I bought one of those anti-bullying wristbands when they first came out. I say ‘bought’, I actually stole it off a short, fat ginger kid.” – Jack Whitehall
5) “As a kid I was made to walk the plank. We couldn’t afford a dog.”
6) “Being an England supporter is like being the over-optimistic parents of the fat kid on sports day.” – John Bishop
7) “What do you call a kid with no arms and an eyepatch? Names.” – Bo Burnham
8 ) “Dave drowned. So at the funeral we got him a wreath in the shape of a lifebelt. Well, it’s what he would have wanted.” – Gary Delaney
9) “For Vanessa Feltz, life is like a box of chocolates: Empty.” – Robert White
10) “Wooden spoons are great. You can either use them to prepare food. Or, if you can’t be bothered with that, just write a number on one and walk into a pub…” – Gareth Richards
Judges also selected some of the worst jokes, which includes a line from last years winner Dan Antopolski.
These are some of the poorer jokes:
“Why did the chicken commit suicide? To get to the other side.” – Sara Pascoe
“You know city-centre beat officers… Well are they police who rap?” – Sean Hughes
“I made a Battenberg where the two colours ran alongside each other. I called it apartheid sponge.” – John Luke Roberts
“I like to play chess with bald men in the park although it’s hard to find 32 of them.” – Emo Philips
“Some of my best friends are vegan. They were going to come today but they didn’t have the energy to climb up the stairs.” – Bec Hill
“How many Spaniards does it take to change a lightbulb? Juan.” – Dan Antopolski