Edinburgh Fringe best joke announced

Tim Vine with his trophy

Tim Vine with his trophy

Tim Vine has one the award for the funniest joke at Edinburgh’s Festival Fringe.

His one liner, “I’ve just been on a once-in-a-lifetime holiday. I’ll tell you what, never again.” was deemed the best joke this year by the public after a shortlist of 24 jokes were selected by a panel of eight comedy judges.

Here are what were considered this years best gags:

1) “I’ve just been on a once-in-a-lifetime holiday. I’ll tell you what, never again.” – Tim Vine

2) “I’m currently dating a couple of anorexics. Two birds, one stone.” – David Gibson

3) “I picked up a hitch hiker. You’ve got to when you hit them.” – Emo Philips

4) “I bought one of those anti-bullying wristbands when they first came out. I say ‘bought’, I actually stole it off a short, fat ginger kid.” – Jack Whitehall

5) “As a kid I was made to walk the plank. We couldn’t afford a dog.”

6) “Being an England supporter is like being the over-optimistic parents of the fat kid on sports day.” – John Bishop

7) “What do you call a kid with no arms and an eyepatch? Names.” – Bo Burnham

8 ) “Dave drowned. So at the funeral we got him a wreath in the shape of a lifebelt. Well, it’s what he would have wanted.” – Gary Delaney

9) “For Vanessa Feltz, life is like a box of chocolates: Empty.” – Robert White

10) “Wooden spoons are great. You can either use them to prepare food. Or, if you can’t be bothered with that, just write a number on one and walk into a pub…” – Gareth Richards

Judges also selected some of the worst jokes, which includes a line from last years winner Dan Antopolski.

These are some of the poorer jokes:

“Why did the chicken commit suicide? To get to the other side.” – Sara Pascoe

“You know city-centre beat officers… Well are they police who rap?” – Sean Hughes

“I made a Battenberg where the two colours ran alongside each other. I called it apartheid sponge.” – John Luke Roberts

“I like to play chess with bald men in the park although it’s hard to find 32 of them.” – Emo Philips

“Some of my best friends are vegan. They were going to come today but they didn’t have the energy to climb up the stairs.” – Bec Hill

“How many Spaniards does it take to change a lightbulb? Juan.” – Dan Antopolski

About donald

I work at ScotClans and have done since 2009. Also a student.

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